Links posted in December 2005
December 31, 2005
Take one part "3 Wise Men visiting Bethlehem" and one part "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. Host resulting e-card on official AmericanGreetings.com website. The effect creates the funniest WTF moment of this holiday season.
Thanks to my tiny Xmas present, I've been podcasting even more and I've discovered The Sound of Young America, a comedy-interview program. While I was falling asleep late one night, I was listening to Jesse Thorn, America's Radio Sweetheart (MP3 excerpt), do a recurring bit named Hang It Up, Keep It Up (MP3 excerpt). As I drifted in and out of sleep, I had a weird hallucination that Wiepooh was the narrator detailing his list of things that irritate him. Weird, but upon listening during the day I couldn't shake the feeling that he could have his own radio show made up of topics that come up during lunch. Anyway, the interview with Chris Elliot is good if you're into his stuff and the special holiday interview with Davy Rothbart of Found Magazine ends with a New Year's note (MP3 excerpt).
Ha! If only this shit was on COPS.
December 30, 2005
First Night Austin. As discussed over dinner, and over at Austinist. "Street corners transform into galleries, storefronts into stages. A festival of art, imagination and creativity spreads across downtown Austin." [more inside]
Urban Cougar classification - The cougar comes in many forms, but each stems from the older woman, typically early thirties to mid-forties, who has abandoned traditional rules of romantic engagement and taken as her mission the seduction of as many game young men as she can possibly handle.
December 29, 2005
I know we've talked about The Office here before, but maybe not its follow up - Extras. The Guardian (UK) has been doing some nice podcasts of writers Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant with hilarious Karl Pilkington.
If you got a few minutes it is ridiculous.
December 28, 2005
Canceled Flight: 101 Tried and True Pigeon Killin' Methods - Author A.V. Jones is not a fan of pigeons. His book illustrates creative ways to end their winged lives, from stoning them to luring them into microwaves and pressing START. [more inside]
December 27, 2005
What do you do with an enormous collection of old-timey 78 RPM records? Rip them all to RealAudio and setup a website called Honking Duck, of course! [more inside]
Viafin-Atlas
(NSFW) - Inventors of the world’s first ever artificial retractable foreskin for circumcised men.
December 26, 2005
Tiki Bar TV - episode 11 is up. [more inside]
December 25, 2005
Free insurance inventory software. I'm especially paranoid about losing things to theft, fire, etc. which is why I have renters insurance to cover my ass. I found this nice little free software package that helps keep all of my personal belongings info so that if I ever need to make a claim I can remember all the shit that got lost. You should give it a try or suggest a better app. while you're still swooning over your shiny new gifts... [more inside]
Kurtis Blow wishes you a Merry Chrismas (via http://blog.wfmu.org)
Pac Man F'Reals
Bless You - Penn Jillette and Teller
December 23, 2005
So I turn to my boyfriend, Daryll, this morning and ask that question of ages olde: "What the fuck is Peter Tork up to lately?". [more inside]
December 21, 2005
UC keeps contract to run Los Alamos National Laboratory I was surprised to find that no one had commented on this, but I guess everyone's already leaving for Christmas? As noted before, you can find some varied opinions on the matter at the LANL blog. [more inside]
Grownup School - Amazon feature in which authors or experts in some field recommend other books in that field.
December 20, 2005
Have you heard of Elvis? Sure, we all have. Then perhaps you should sit a spell and consider all of the Women of Elvis -- A Wahini Index. [more inside]
My heroes have always been bike messengers.
I am not sure if any of you have seen these videos yet. They are of unofficial bike races through the streets of Boston, New York, and San Francisco. After my accident, watching them makes my palms sweaty.
[more inside]
Stories of New Yorkers' Commutes During the Strike - in NYC today, AB != BA as transit workers went on strike to fight pension and other benefit cuts.
I'm surprised none of the usual suspects have jumped in with this political bombshell... The Bush Administration has been using the NSA to spy on Americans, they've been doing it for a while, and they're gonna keep at it. This contravenes longstanding principles of domestic espionage, and quite likely breaks the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (although Bush's lawyers are tapdancing rapidly). It's not only an important abrogation of our civil liberties, but also a new facet of the administration's ongoing abnegation of the separation of powers doctrine. [more inside]
December 19, 2005
From: stuntcawks@XXXXX.XXX
To: zieglerfe@XXXXX.XXX
Date: Dec 19, 2005 4:57 PM
Subject: thanks for the posting!
[more inside]
Turns out that company we didn't trust with our voting machines because of the CEO's ties to the republicans and the closed source code really does make shitty vulnerable voting machines.
Boggle! - For those of you who like the online word games, this one is a nice implementation of the classic Boggle game. 4x4 or 5x5 options and customization of the layout. [more inside]
seti@home is closing shop but don't worry because they're being incorporated into the BOINC project. This new setup combines most of the distributed computing projects and allows you to determine what percentage of your resources are donated to which project. Good stuff!
Possibly the best bit SNL has done in years. Mr. Pibb + Red Vines ... Crazy Delicious!
Banned Record Covers You've seen the bottom of the barrel and the bizarre -- now see the banned (minor nudity / NSFW).
December 18, 2005
AE iron ons. If anyone wants an Alkaline Earth iron on to make a tshirt, I will bring them to the next ExMFC meeting.
Think your neighbor's annoying? Imagine living next to, or rather, across the street from, this guy. I thought there was some time-lapse photography involved, but apparently he really is just that crazy.
December 17, 2005
Kite fishing : "You will catch plenty!!"
December 16, 2005
Can you really get a mac mini for free? I always wondered about those "free mac mini" or "free ipod" etc. sites, this guy went through the pain to report on the legitimacy of these sites.
December 15, 2005
Normally, this dry recap of a bowling tournament would only interest people who tape and watch bowling from midday ESPN. But if you'll read the 'notes' at the bottom, you'll see there was something special about this match.
Cute! Super cute! Cute overload!
December 14, 2005
Know those songs that get in your head and never leave? Here's one you're sure to love. I thought for sure this would have been posted here before I became an avid follower, but searches turned up negative, so I feel that in this, the giving season, it would be wrong of me not to share.
MAKEbot is a new searching tool. The author is Sergio Zlobin, a friend of a friend, and makezine contacted him about the software. Check it out: maybe it can search your fave sites while simultaneously catching up on AE posts?
Jesus is with you always. Being a jackass.
Does anybody know where I can get a hold of some non water-soluble conducting jelly?
They keep telling us not to. But it may be okay. But only under extreme circumstances. Any others?
It's been about two years since our Illustrious Founder started AE. The purpose, I think, was a better way to share the dumb stuff that he would otherwise email to his coworkers and bowling teammates. It turns out that lots of us had dumb stuff of our own to share, and that we enjoyed making fun of each others' dumb stuff. Thus a community was born.
The initial users were mostly those same coworkers and keglers, since augmented by a growing army of friends-of-friends. However, from the very beginning, the 'New User' link has been open to anyone with an email address and the gumption to fill out an 8-element form. We've had a few strangers from afar join up: some real, some famous, some lurky, and some heteronymous, enough that we recently topped the 100-user mark.
To all these brave souls: howdy and welcome. If you stopped by in the course of a random walk, were roped in by a well-meaning friend, or are a linkbot with some top-notch AI, feel free to introduce yourself below and say how you came to land on Alkaline Earth. (Especially if it was the bachelorette cake what brought you here.) Or keep your aura of mystery and danger if that's your thing - your secret is safe with us.
If you're like me, and I imagine many ALK*EAR users are, then you really really love videos of people lipsyncing their favorite songs, or even making entire fan videos of their favorite songs!!! [more inside]
December 13, 2005
The LANL Blog says UC/Bechtel will be announced as the LANL contract winner this Thursday. Is it really decided? My personal opinion is that the Senate is still waiting for the Tom Delay/ redistricting scandal to demurkify. Either Texas gets the nukular arsenal, or Tom Delay: but not both!
There's some other interesting reading via the link, about Nunos's mishandling of the Ta 15 crem incident and aftermath.
Train like Rocky in Siberia in your own backyard - if you watch one stupid net video this month, make it this one. If you have time for two or three more... [more inside]
Corporate evildoers. Disclaimer - Avoid this if you don't want to feel bad about drinking diet coke.
Ring My Bell This has been floating around e-mail for a while, but I thought I'd post it for those who hadn't seen it.
December 12, 2005
For those of you that enjoy stargazing, or if you're camping and wondering what's overhead, then the UCS Satellite Database is for you. [more inside]
Movie Title Screens
from
to 
Thousands of unclassified technical reports from Los Alamos National Lab are finally available again. Your favorite science is probably covered by one or more of these documents. [more inside]
Jon Stewart is Bill O'Reilly's enemy. If you didn't catch this "Daily Show", then scroll down past the other stuff to the "Hey Bill" segment (warning QT is necessary). [more inside]
December 11, 2005
Who says science isn't fun? Without rigorous testing, how would I know that I only need to get 8 feet underwater to be safe from the people shooting at me?
(Thanks to kwc blog for the link. This is the first time I've checked out this site, but I feel a sort of kinship with the author, what with the whole hapa-DC-Silicon Valley thing. Hey, maybe he's crazy too.)
Peace Out, Richard Pryor. "I woke up in the ambulance, right? And there was nothin' but white people starin' at me. I say . . . I done died and wound up in the wrong heaven. Now I gotta listen to Lawrence Welk the rest of my days."
December 10, 2005
Classified ad - looking for a ghostwriter "A ghost-written autobiography of one man’s shocking discover that Americans are eating their dead pets. For two years he has waged a campaign informing tens of thousands of people, but the media won’t touch the story because they say it will affect their ratings/readership."
Smoking Manners - In Japan, they don't mind the health risks of smoking -- they mind the manners of smokers. In Europe, they just cover the health warnings with much funnier warnings. [more inside]
December 09, 2005
Thuglit: Writing About Wrongs This site posted an ad for submissions on Craig's List. I actually didn't read any of the stories, but here's a quote from a short story in their latest issue.
"Everything happened at once. The gloves behaved as if they were possessed, and in retrospect, the Kid wondered if they had been. His left hand swung out like justice made manifest and brushed the shotgun barrels towards the ceiling."
- Nathan Crowder, Kid Gloves
What's been happening this week in the world of creationism and ID? Well, we've got the Thomas Fordham State of State Science Standards that was just released. Among your favorites are sure to be 'F' grades for Texas (.) and stupid 'Sconsin, and that coveted 'I wish there was a lower grade than F' for our old pal Kansas. Speaking of which, a religious studies department chair at KU was going to teach a course critically examining ID and creationism but suddenly cancelled it. Why? Well, he got beaten up on the road and he resigned the chair because it came out that in an email to the campus atheists group had called fundamentalists "fundies" and said the course would be "a nice slap in their big fat faces." Some people are now doubting his story about getting beaten up. I'm not so sure.
What would a porn shoot without sex but with pizza be like? Hilarious but still completely NSFW, that's what.
Check out the old photos of austin in the "photo gallery" section of this site. Behold, I-35 before it was I-35 (that's Brackenridge hospital in the picture). Funny thing is that I found this link at the wakeboarding website... [more inside]
December 08, 2005
Do any of ya'll wanna rock this on sunday? weather should be nice, 60s. $5 to play all day, so we should pack a lunch. 36 holes and a few of us know the designer/owner (PDGA hall of fame 1998, baby). [more inside]
The Family Cthulu - for dysfunctional comic fans and Cthulu devotees alike. [thx, Onion AV Club] [more inside]
December 07, 2005
Did you like Legos when you were a kid? Then perhaps the Lego Factory is something for you. [more inside]
SNOWDAY! No classes after 2pm! hooray for snowday!
Fake or Foto v.2. Can you tell which images are computer graphics and which are real, untouched photographs? [more inside]
This is pretty neat albeit, really sad. They're tearing down Busch stadium in order to clear room for new Busch stadium. Here is a time lapse photo of the progress of the demolition. Pretty neat. Via Viva El Birdos
Interviews and Demos from the teams that made the graphics for 'Tron'. [more inside]
December 06, 2005
What Good is Love? - a cute animation in French (but I think you'll get the gist) with Edith Piaf soundtrack. Just to balance out the last french video that was posted.
Anyone wanna go see the crotchety old lauriate from UT give a talk on wednesday night?
Can there be enough webpages in which one set of internet dorks rip the living shit out of the myspace pages put up by far dorkier internet dorks? This internet dork invites his internet dork friends to find out. [more inside]
December 05, 2005
I know that many of you have found and utilized various image generators in the past. Expand your generating horizons with The Generator Blog! [more inside]
You know this is pretty funny considering the 10,000 times I've heard "terror" and "9/11" used by the president and republicans in congress to justify everything from their lack of competence to why they should not allow gays to marry. It's extra funny to think that the repubs are the biggest fear mongers and they're the ones in control of congress and the presidency yet they can't pass a few laws to make the country better prepared for an emergency. Next time there's a "contract with america" someone needs to remove the clause about the republicans fucking everyone in the ass.
December 04, 2005
The Forbes Fictional Fifteen - Forbes runs down the 15 richest fictional characters, from Lucius Malfoy to a man with more money than Daddy Warbucks
[Malfoy's] stock portfolio has also fared well. Most wizards eschew "Muggle" markets, preferring to invest in Goblin mutual funds or Niffler futures. But Malfoy bucks the trend, holding shares in a variety of companies, including Wal-Mart Stores (nyse: WMT - news - people ), Microsoft (nasdaq: MSFT - news - people ) and Halliburton (nyse: HAL - news - people ). "I am constantly on the alert for opportunities to exploit you filthy Muggles," he told us nearly seven years ago (see: “Malfoy’s Malicious Methods” Forbes, Mar. 21, 1999)
December 03, 2005
Fame!
I'm gonna live forever / I'm gonna learn how to fly / High!
I feel it coming together / People will see me and cry / Fame!
I'm gonna make it to heaven / Light up the sky like a flame / Fame!
I'm gonna live forever / Baby remember my name
Remember... Remember... Remember...
[more inside]
In the long, rich AE tradition (read: it happened once before) of links that choose a pantheon and describe its similarities to college football, I bring you the new hotness: the Simpsons. [more inside]
December 02, 2005
Things you didn't know you needed to worry about - Your labia should be tan, but your anus should not, especially if you want to "keep your bum-hole looking younger." [more inside]
If anyone is short on cash, or would like to learn more, first-hand about being a medical research test subject, clicky for details. [more inside]
lists, lists, and more lists. can you really ever have enough lists. the answer is no. but it's even better to have them all in the one place.
December 01, 2005
What if the internet were a real place?
Dave Chappelle: Oh, hey Ron.
Ron Jeremy: Wanna see me have sex?
Dave Chappelle: Naw, I'm cool.
Ron Jeremy: Wanna see Fleur Delacoeur topless, seducing her boyfriend?
Dave Chappelle: YES I WOULD.
Ron Jeremy: [Motions to follow him right through this door]
NSFW, WWTDD, thx TWS
A story of warning for Ned. [more inside]
Attention users of latex condoms, the Today sponge, diaphragms and other gewgaws for geezers. Come to the 21st century where China, the world's leading contraception innovator, brings you a foaming spray that will solve all of your problems. If you're too cheap to import it or you're worried about "FDA approval", my research group can whip up a batch of the primary ingredient for you.
If you're just too cheap to buy anything, better keep it old-school with the DIY (NSFW) variety.
I have to assume that at least one person on this board will enjoy this. (Or as Dave Barry put it, something only boys would do.)
Since most of us are scientists, I thought we should all have access to the top thirty facts about the most irresistable of all the forces in the universe
To habcous: An answer to your question.
Hace falta que me digan que me muero por tener algo contigo
Es que no te has dado cuenta que por mucho que me cuesta ser tu amigo
Ya no puedo acercarme a tu boca
Sin decirte de una manera loca
Necesito controlar tu vida
Quien te besa
Quien te abriga
How to rip a DVDs to a 700MB AVI - including subtitles. [digg]
Firefox 1.5 is out. Server logs reveal that over half of all Alkaline Earthlings use Firefox, well above par. Memo to the other half: WTF? Switch already!
The Cthulhu Lego Playset [MOV] - Who doesn't slumber fitfully, like he who is dead but dreaming, hoping for a sunken city of R'lyeh playset or a Plush Old One under the trilithon this Winter Solstice? (Check out the video's disclaimers -- there's some important info within.) And while we're on the subject, a note for prospective parents: here's what your child's name of Cthulhu says about them as a person. ("Although the name Cthulu creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it limits your versatility and scope, tuning you to technical details.") [thx Cyn-C]