Links posted in December 2004
December 31, 2004
Sure, Christmas has come and gone by now, but the intense fear in children's eyes when they have to sit on a creepy stranger's lap lasts the whole year.
Designer handbags? We don't need no stinking designer handbags... Give me a scrotum and some time and I'll whip you up one hellava handbag.
Some jokes [more inside]
December 30, 2004
Since they've yet to develop a robot that powers itself on bird poop, I guess we'll just have to settle for one that powers itself by eating house flies.
There was a recent discussion on mefi about favorite movie reviews that really lay into the horrible, horrible dreck movies. The best one-liners are collected and photoshopped onto movie posters at moviepoopshoot.com (yes, that one) in a sort of anti-marketing miracle. On the other side of the coin is Earl Dittman, a man whose TV and print quotes would seem to indicate that he never met a movie he didn't like. Seen any good reviews of bad movies lately?
The most horrible thing in the entire history of Western Civilization - available in calendar (images) and coffee-table book form.
Some MIT pranks compiled over the years in a shout out to E. B. Flagg the third. Or second, or some shit...
Note that the retard website is calling them "hacks" in a stupid sign of the times. I think ned needs to send in a letter demanding that pranks not be refered to as "hacks" ever again, but that's just me...
A HOLY SHIT is in order. I awoke today to the new news that at least 118,000 are confirmed dead in the tsunami. That's really effed up...
December 29, 2004
A dingo ate your baby? Yeah, well a llama's humping my ass!
The "D" reveal the truth. Why didn't Kerry win? What about their movie? Damn filthy ape!
December 28, 2004
Worst Game of the Year As a follow-up to an earlier discussion about the best game of the year, here's the winner(?) for the flat-out worst.
As they say in the list of nominees, "Who would have thought that a game produced with Russian slave labor wouldn't turn out brilliantly?"
Heh, accidentally came across this one too...
Someone's gonna lose an eye here...
Indian Ocean Tsunami - The fourth-most powerful quake since 1899 raised 10m waves, leaving a death toll of 60,000 that could climb over 100,000 across the Indian Ocean. A wildlife photographer captured a series of photos of the tsunami and its aftermath (article). Eyewitness accounts are coming in as well. This wikipedia overview is excellent and includes links to relief efforts accepting online donations, such as Nobel Peace prize winners Medecins sans Frontieres).
And the Bride wore... Wedding dress train wrecks, reviewed.
December 27, 2004
Hmmm, jumping out of a plane without a parachute, intentionally at that! I'm not a bettin' man by habit but this might make for one fine wager.
Video Footage of African American voter suppression in Ohio.
Star Wars Christmas Album - For those of you that could not get enough of the Star Wars Christmas Special.
If anyone checked out the addendum to DonCarlo's post, you got some interesting info on Dem's/Rep's record on unemployment. Further analysis indicates... [more inside]
December 26, 2004
A dingo ate my baby. Or maybe it was one of those fucking feral camels...
I was considering eating better in the future. Here's an interactive healthy eating index if you want to also. Sorry, no funny. There's nothing funny about eating your veggies, NOTHING.
The original house from the movie "A Christmas Story" is up on eBay, and right in Lulu's (snowy) backyard.
December 24, 2004
Toxic Chemicals are emitted everywhere it seems. Now you can chart the toxic chemical release trends around your neck of the woods with this handy tool.
christmas songs ala 8-bit video game sounds...
The Speechalist - Andy Dick plays the genius behind Bush's famous flubs in this hilarious short.
Pi - This experimental attempts to convert the 10,000 digits of pi into a musical sequence.
BTW, now guess who just got a high speed connection installed? I'm able to sit at the computer for moderate periods of time, thanks to Eminem's and Matthew Perry's fave -- Hydrocodone (aka Vicodin). The excellent Vice Guide to Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll tells you how to get your own: [more inside]
Stuck at home with your family? Take a virtual trip to the 2004 Arizona State Fair or the Arkansas State Prison 1915-1937. Or just enjoy pictures of kitties or of Little Kids Scared of Santa.
We're Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band - we hope you have enjoyed the show; now find out about the people on the cover.
Find out what happens when people from Austin stop being polite... and start GETTING REAL. The official site links to tryout info -- it's probably changed a bit since the last time I read about it.
CHRISTmas Cheer Here is a column by a newspaper columnist in Minnesota, describing the reaction from readers to his previous column about homelessness in the Minneapolis (?) area. nice, very nice. it illustrates the disconnect between the bible and some adherents. note, especially, the delightful sarcasm permeating the work. sweet, but be careful, lest you become jaded.
December 22, 2004
requisite link hey guys-- we just wanted to say thanks! you all chipped in and made our christmas here not so lonely. we really appreciate the CDs and the oven thermometer and the book and the love...
December 20, 2004
Peep Research - basic attributes and reactions of Peeps to simple conditions and stimuli.
"The synergistic effect of smoking and alcohol in Peeps produces a rapidly exothermic oxidation reaction, leading to a chemical and morphological divergence from the wild-type Peep phenotypes."
December 19, 2004
I was reading a few articles talking about how Bush is Time's Person of the Year and came across a page with an ad offering t-shirts of the county by county election results for the presidential election. [more inside]
This has to be fake So when you're invited to have sex with a girl but you must remain blindfolded and can't touch her girlie parts as part of the deal, you might as well assume you're having sex with a dude. Or that's just my experience...
December 18, 2004
HELLO! My name is: Ginger (free reg. required, or you could just read about it here). I can think of a few feasibility issues with this new legislation...(ahem)... [more inside]
loveline animation This guy uses flash animation to animate scenes from loveline. It's done pretty well. Also, if you're like me and you like to listen to loveline on the road, check this site out.
December 17, 2004
Sacrificial Sheep Coupons to Cost More This Time - "The sacrificial sheep coupon, which is part of the Project for the Utilization of Sacrificial Animals During Haj managed by the Islamic Development Bank (IDB), will cost SR75 more this year than last. This year's coupon, available at Al-Rajhi Banking & Investment Corp., will cost SR450 compared to SR375 last year."
I'm already getting a little wistful that everyone has left for vacation and the routine won't settle back down for a few weeks. (Maybe I'm just a status quo kind of guy).
Anyway, I'm already anticipating next semester's great Friday lunch event: The Dollar Menu Challenge. This could potentially be played at Mickie D's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, and probably some other places. Will we see a new world record?
December 16, 2004
The poor man and I would like to challenge anyone who has Xbox Live to a little Halo 2 action. Anyone in??? We could also play Madden or ESPN football.
What do you do when you purchase a collector's edition of a video game and it comes in a tin that looks like it should hold cookies? Why, you make cookies!
December 15, 2004
Cmon nate, will you friggin' get the game of the year already so I can play it? Jeez, you're so selfish sometimes...
How about some bad-ass science photos? You'll want to choose your language, then choose "gallery." After viewing (make sure you see the Kidney glomerulus), go buy me a Christmas present.
I bet there are some Texas legislators wishing they could redistrict in California to get rid of this guy .
December 14, 2004
Sometimes, "the people" get to be too much. But now there are delightfully humorous ways to get them out of their head. Cell phones bother you? No longer (PDF). Maybe that dorkmunch at the movie theater that can't refrain from predicting the end every few minutes? Give 'em a piece of your mind without disrupting others. Ahh, finally, some peace and quiet.
December 13, 2004
Hey, kids!!! Try the new Donald Duck ride! - would this work on college aged women?
For DonCarlo Just one of the many gradutes from a fine institution.
A brief report about the recent journey to Found Magazine's World Headquarters. [more inside]
"That's your solution to everything: to move under the sea!"
Crooks apprehended by Grand Theft Auto I find it odd that GTA actually helped to catch criminals.
Death Life from Above
- a collection of beautiful photographs from a different perspective of our Blue Marble. See if the fresh outlook helps you score highly on this quiz.
Bedroom Slippers make great holiday presents - I wear size 13; do I have to go to "heavy flow" or anything?
December 12, 2004
Geminid meteor shower to be the best of 2004 and it peaks Monday night. The good news is that skies in Austin are supposed to be clear so you should have a great view. The bad news is that the cold front hits hard tonight so temperatures during the meteor shower will be freezing.
December 11, 2004
We're All Gonna Be Dirt In The Ground - by Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons.
December 10, 2004
Kidney Stone Photographs - Can't tell the difference between Uric Acid and Calcium Oxalate Monohydrate (coated with Triamterene)? Here is some help, because they both look like poop to me.
A clip from last night's "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart".
"Mass times velocity squared equals force. Damn you, Einstein.
Fotos Encontradas - In the tradition of Found Magazine, the following is a website of pictures found around Buenos Aires.
O Stone Be Not So - Weird Al does Dylan. Just genius forwards and backwards.
If anyone notices Ned or Becky acting strangely, it might have something to do with Mexico and what happened to this guy. Or not.
December 09, 2004
Pussy-ass frat boys . That's like me but with less fists and more pepper spray(yes, I was called a skater-fag too, wanna make something of it bitch?).
The new volvo parallel parking system in action
Mad skills are what you need to avoid the "pit" manuver by the cops 3 times!
Note that the anouncer is talking about the lack of traffic conjestion in OKLAHOMA...
Remember riding on the school bus as a kid? Remember that time the school bus crashed on its side? Yeah, me neither.
BNC Chess As our dear friend Ronny "The Bear" Weasel once said, "And I'll be a knight!"
226 is the first "uninteresting" number -- making it, of course, an interesting number. (The first ten uninteresting numbers: 226, 234, 241, 249, 250, 258, 269, 277, 278, and 293). Here, then, is a list of lists. [more inside]
David Gross
of UCSB, better known as my good friend and ex-roomate Marcus Berg's boss, recently won the Nobel Prize. Here's the picture that ran on the AP wire: 
December 08, 2004
Pet winterized.
[more inside]
Rural Community Radio, Arts, etc I just checked out an interesting preview for a film called "Holler to the Hood" that exposes abuse in American prisons. The site also offers some interesting audio clips about incarcerated people and the communities surrounding the prisons. Red state meets blue state and Hip-hop meets Bluegrass! Audio and video clips are at www.appalshop.org/h2h They are doing radio broadcast for prisoner family members, maybe it is a sign of the times.
What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? There are all monumental questions that have occupied philosophers for ages. Well, you can add one more question to that list.
December 07, 2004
Young American Mathematicians: an oxymoron? Ugh...we were actually doing better for awhile in the 90's...all TA's and AI's out there and other soon to be teachers (yeah Flip)...make your kids do the math...damn I am tired of this...if I have to learn Shakespeare, then by Euler, they have to learn Algebra.
Everybody wants them electrons running through circuits like so many girbils through habitrails, why not cut out the middle man and produce hydrogen directly in the photocell so we can burn 'em like so many effigies of George W?
When Ivy's go at it. This is an incredible hack on Harvard. On par with the MIT balloon bursting from the football field during halftime of the Harvard-Yale game.
Creation magazine advises that maybe you shouldn't use these arguments.
- Awesome list of creationist arguments that Answers in Genesis thinks you might not want to use if you want to be taken seriously as a creationist.
Added bonus question: why will God have his revenge on all physicists? Answer: a blasphemous, mocking, or simply unfortunate naming convention.
If you think max is a large cat, or even your own cat is a giant pussy gato, you obviously have never seen this cat.
It's Karate Kid! The Musical! - all the reviews agree: it's "unconventional". Be sure to check out the blockbuster musical selection The Way of the Fisting ("I'm the evil sensei / I run an evil dojo / I teach evil karate / I'm evil as a mofo.")
December 06, 2004
I know you people won't really understand this quote because you loved school so much with your high GPA's and whatnot but it brought back memories of elementary school for me. It's about educational films:
"As silly as they were, everybody looked forward to filmstrip time because for 10-15 minutes, you could goof off as long as you didn't get too rowdy. When you saw the film projector at the back of the room at the beginning of class, your morale increased 10-fold because you knew that this was going to be a shortened class."
True-er words could not have been spoken...
This is funny , especially if you've seen clips of the infamous Paris Hilton video, or at least that's what I'm told. [more inside]
Texas moves up to 4th and is headed to the Rose Bowl against Michigan. Maybe Tommy Lee Jones and his Cheerleader friends will be there to root.
Scoliosis is an abnormal curvature of the spine; it often develops with no known cause. If treatment with a brace doesn't correct the problem, then surgery is indicated -- most commonly, posterior spinal fusion with a Cotrel-Dubousset instrument. [more inside]
December 05, 2004
Is it wrong for me to want a car designed for women? I'm having strange feelings right now... [more inside]
Learn about jizz: "This is the secret weapon of all birders!" Moreover, "Jizz is the key. Jizz is the beginning of understanding."
If you're going to get a tattoo in a foreign script, you'll want to consult an expert on the character's meaning; if you simply want to make fun of people that didn't bother, you'll want to consult Hanzi Smatter.
Remember that pool party at Jenn's house a few years ago? The one that got broken up by the police? There was a guy that came with Danica (I forget his name now) who had a small kanji character or two tattooed on his shoulder blade... [more inside]
sG's Next Hobby? Remember the guy who strapped a bunch of baloons to a lawn chair, grabbed his pop gun and waved to the 747's as they went by? Well, there are ever-so-slightly-less-foolish fools who also like to strap on 99 Red Balloons (or is it 99 Luftbalons?) and coast off into the sky. Then again, there are still others who use balloons to do physics [PDF]... Guess it just takes diff'rent strokes to move the world.
December 03, 2004
Does prayer improve reproduction? You might remember hearing a few years ago that evidence was mounting which showed that women for whom random others prayed to get pregnant were much more likely to do so. Well, maybe not so much after the lead author disavows knowledge of the study, another author is in jail on separate fraud charges, and a third author hanged himself in jail. (from What's New)
Dr. Emek and Master Laura http://www.ph.utexas.edu/~feeneyla/bigbend/crotonspring2.jpg
Sorry don't know how to do that fancy convertin' to link stuff. Myabe I will try to get some champagne...I promise to get the good stuff...after all it's the newly-graduated and newly-employed HEISEN-ETTES!
As we embark on winter here in Texas (30 degrees is cold, man!), think of the poor souls in northern Russia and China. They suffer well, however, by throwing an amazing snow and ice festival which has to be seen to be believed. The snow sculptures are amazing but the ice structures just blew me away. It looks like Vegas.
Hydrogen Bond Sunscreen My project leader has an article in Science this week. it is also descriptive of the work we are doing here, in general. it is neat and talks about DNA's mechanisms for protecting itself from the sun's radiation before the ozone layer existed. on the TOC, it is listed as "Hydrogen-Bond Sunscreen"
December 02, 2004
MenWhoLookLikeKennyRogers.com - I think Underground Roberto could pull this off.
All you HALO bad-asses have got to check this out. You can Play HALO 2 on the big screen at Alamo North
Anna Benson makes her standpoint clear, leaving me with several burning questions. Such as: Do the Mets have open tryouts? or Can I be a batboy instead? and How drunk are Kris Benson's (no, not him, him) teammates going to try to get him? And finally, how can I get on the same Christmas Card list that Anna sends her hubby?
December 01, 2004
I've got Religion! That's right, I've found Religion. Not religion with the namby-pamby can't be bothered to commit little "r", but big, bold, brassy and saved Religion with a BIG "R" that also stands for Rectitude, Righteousness, and Resolute. Come, join my Church...
Ambiguously gay duo for you to download and laugh at.
It's like supersize me except for 12 hours instead of 7200, and none of that gross barfing. Learn what the "reds" watch in their spare time... [more inside]
I guess the Dr. in front of his name wasn't enough - UTPD cleared of all charges brought by Jon Bougie after they cracked his head open. Because, you know, he might have fallen forward of his own accord.
Movie Quiz - I got 9.
Ken Jennings loses - the Ken Jeopardy Asswhupping Deathmarch came to an end when real estate agent Nancy Zerg beat the erstwhile software engineer from Murray, Utah last night. H&R Block will do his taxes for free, a recognition of Jennings' final final jeopardy question (and not of the man he killed down south that one time). What is a Ho [MP3], indeed.
The New Hotness - This should be the first post on the Alkaline Earth known as "the new hotness."