Links posted in January 2004
January 31, 2004
Throw out your Periodic Table -- it's obsolete. What's the Vegas line on the next proton magic number? My money's on 126! C'mon 126! Daddy needs a new pair of shoes!
Those of you from the north may have gotten your car stuck in the snow at some point. Maybe you got it out by "rocking", or maybe you got a push from some friends. Or maybe you hooked the car up to a friend's truck for a pull. "Damn".
January 30, 2004
It's OK if you won't be mine this Valentine's day... 'cause for $81, my imaginary girlfriend Judy Loves Me! (story here).
January 29, 2004
Bill Charles, Inc. - Photography by different people represented by Bill Charles, Inc. Specially interesting is the work by Max Aguilera-Hellweg, known for his book The Sacred Heart: An Atlas of the Body Seen through Invasive Surgery.
Fermionic Condensates
- Now we can have whole teams of professors jumping on the bandwagon, you know, the same ones that jumped on the sonoluminescence-may-lead-to-fussion and the BEC-may-lead-to-quantum-computers.
Man, am I glad for Nate and feel sorry for Melanie and Laura. Heinzen is going to jump on that, make his students work like slaves, send e-mails behind their back, and then have Raizen one-up him behind his back.
I heard about the story about the decomposing whale exploding on the street the other day and I was a bit dissapointed that there were not any pictures. Well, today, out of the fucking blue, I found the story, with a picture. Enjoy.
January 28, 2004
How to Fold Clothes - an amazing and revolutionary video that will change your life, or at least the way you do laundry. As interesting as it is edifying.
Hey Ya Charlie Brown - shake it like a polaroid, Lucy.
Ron Jeremy plugs "male enhancement" pill: A very funny review of an infomercial which has porn stars giving testimonials about how they like a well-endowed guy. But, wait, what's this? One of the porn star "experts" claims to have a "masters degree in atomic and molecular physics!" Holy Hell, IT'S TRUE!
People, the dream is still alive! You CAN get a postgraduate physics degree from Texas A&M, go work for NASA, and THEN become a pornstar! (SFW)
Holy crap... Ever wonder what it's like to be recruited by a big-time college football program? (Hint: it involves a lot of lobster tail, steak, and parties with cheerleaders). The Miami Herald follows a prospect on recruiting visits to
Read 'em in order -- it's better that way. (From the Sports Guy)
What is the most phallic building in the world? Cabinet Magazine strives to find out. [also, be sure to click on "wrong contest" for a good laugh].
Bad Speling Can Make You Porrer (NYT). It makes me so happy to know I live in a world where a person can parlay spelling-bee-winning acumen into a merchandising empire.
Arnold Schwartzenegger Soundboard
- Thanks Nate and Flip.
I finally used this (alongside ShitTalker) two days ago to the guy that called my cell phone (call my cell phone in a week or two to hear Shane's stupid ass message [it is down right now because of this Super Bowl job I will be doing this week, I will put it back up later]). Of course, he denied calling me in the first place, seeing that I knew who he was but he didn't know who I was.
President Clinton's E-mails
Or at least a story about all two e-mails he sent out while he was president.
It is a little strange but somewhat understandable. But, I like to give people shit for not communicating within this medium. Or for not having an e-mail address. Or not knowing about their computers (Z: "What kind of computer do you have?", N: "Uhm, I don't know. It has a monitor."). Or at least not knowing about "The Onion".
Anybody - Where can I get the link for the quiz Ned(?) gave us a while back. You know, "The Geek Test". The one were Magnus scored a 33(?). Talking about Magnus, where is he? Does he know about Alkaline Earth?
January 26, 2004
Photos and Movies from Gilliss' New Years Bacchanalia, as captured by Nate Dogg. Sign in and you can add your own! Movies are on page 3... note their hugeness (3-30 MB) and their hilarity (somewhat-extremely).
Hey, available ladies! I wanted you to know that I'm afraid of just about everything...and you know what they say about a guy who's afraid of things...
January 24, 2004
I try not to make a practice of movie hopping, but I've done it a few times in my life. The most daring was in a little run-down six screener on the "bad" side of Madison (I snicker just saying that). I paid to see Austin Powers 2 and after walking out we just walked straight in next door to see Wild Wild West. I think I paid my penance for that just by having to see that crappy movie.
I also once paid to see Kevin Smith's Dogma, but then crossed the theater (past the concession stand, even) and walked into Toy Story 2. That was premeditated: I wanted to see both but I wanted to be sure Kevin Smith got my money.
What's the best/most daring time you ever got two-for-one (or one-for-none!) at a movie theater? Why did you do it? I promise not to call the federales.
January 23, 2004
Pictures of Saddam Hussein's Capture - Third Picture: "Dude, take my picture. No, come on. Take it. Hold on, let me put him on the ground. What? Grab him? Dude, good idea. Man, my dad is going to love this. Take the picture, take the picture."
Top 100 Sports Moments on the Simpsons
on ESPN.com . Here's #11:
Homer, Moe, Apu and Otto form the Pin Pals and soon face off against some of Springfield's toughest teams:
- The Channel 6 Wastelanders: Krusty the Klown, Kent Brockman, Bumblebee Man, Arnie Pye.
- The DMV Regulation Kings: Patty and Selma, plus two unknown characters.
- The Springfield Police Framers: Wiggum, Snake, Eddie, Lou.
- The Homewreckers: Lurleen Lumpkin, Mindy Simmons, Jacques, Princess Khasmir.
- The Stereotypes: Luigi the Italian restaurant owner, Groundskeeper Willie, Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel, and Captain McAllister.
- The Holy Rollers: Reverend Lovejoy, Helen Lovejoy, Ned Flanders, Maude Flanders
Do you find that you have too much disposable income and not enough new bands that you're interested in to spend the money on? Then you're like the rest of us. Well, fear not, because a truly awesome resource is now available: MusicPlasma
Seriously, this is cool. A flash app that takes a band you like and puts it graphically near lots of other similar groups. Sounds great, right? But the execution probably sucks, right? Just try typing in Lovage or Estradasphere and see if you don't get back every other band whose CD Ziggy has lent you.
PS: if your computer is less than 400MHz, you might be in trouble with this site.
January 22, 2004
private eye magazine so, you know the infamous bet betwixt kip thorne (not rip torn) and stephen hawking...wellllll, here's to what mr. hawking would have received a subscription from mr. thorne had there really been naked singularities.
Democratic Paraphrenalia
Among the highlights:
-Democrats are Sexy! (who ever heard of a great piece of elephant?)
-The last time someone listened to a Bush, folks wandered around the desert for 40 years. [as seen on an SUV parked next to the psychology building]
-Aren't you poor enough? Vote Democrat in 2004.
-Stop Mad Cowboy Disease.
the address where you mail your order is in Austin, TX....
Movie soundtracks are somewhat notorious for being pretty unlistenable, usually getting one or two high profile artists with hits and filling the rest with crap. I actually like to listen to the soundtrack to Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy. It's got a plethora of alterna-darlings like Stereolab, Cibo Matto, TMBG, and Pavement. It's also got my favorite Yo La Tengo song ever. Are there any soundtrack albums that you can actually stand to listen to in their entirety?
Some creative people took Dean's speech from Monday in Iowa and made some remixes including mixing it with Crazy Train. Also, this one. (If these links stop working, I downloaded them already.)
January 21, 2004
Behold!!! THE HUBTAMER!!! Be sure to have your speakers cranked to 11 (ft-lbs) for this one.
Antra - For those of you that like to spend some time looking at Albino Blacksheep.
Arthur Magazine - topics include Alan Moore (of Watchmen and LXG (this one not this one) (Issue 4), the late Joe Strummer and Polyphonic Spree (both in Issue 3), and advice from bluesman T-Model Ford (several issues). Duane Bickels says check it out.
State of the Union
- I guess that we know who Duane Bickels is voting for.
Note the addition of "(Applause)" at the end of almost every paragraph. As in:
"The American economy is growing stronger. The tax relief you passed is working. (Applause.) "
"These numbers confirm that the American people are using their money far better than government would have -- and you were right to return it. (Applause.) "
"This nation will not go back to the days of simply shuffling children along from grade to grade without them learning the basics. I refuse to give up on any child -- and the No Child Left Behind Act is opening the door of opportunity to all of America's children. (Applause.) "
January 20, 2004
Stranded At The Airport
- I guess that all of my bitching about being stranded at airports are nothing compared to anything that Merhan Karimi Nasseri has experienced.
Wow, what a fucking story. Now we will just have to wait until some wanna-be compasionate director like Spielberg with a heart of gold directs a movie about this guy starring someone as cliche as Tom Hanks.
Duane's vote cancels out yours. Yeeeeee-Haaaaaaaawwww!!
The picture we've all been dying to see... okay, if you weren't there 'til the end of the party (phystivus) you may have missed this once in a lifetime event. Well, here's your chance. And, if you were there for it, this is your chance to re-live the moment in all it's glory. Or, should I say in all Ziggy's glory.
Only 2 days left
- to start your own alkaline earth-like blogging empire or a site about a cat with a lime on its head. 1and1.com, a German web hosting company, wants to expand to the US and rest of world, and so has a quite amazing offer: 500MB of free hosting, with email, ssh, MySQL, cgi-bin, $5/yr domain name, yada yada yada, ordinarily about $10-25 a month. No charge, no credit card, just a phone number to verify you by.
Yes, folks, our fearless alkaline earthmaster himself is a proud subscriptor, the selfsame site you are boondogglin' right now. [first seen on this metafilter discussion]
January 19, 2004
It just seems that my inbox seems to not be so full now with the advent of Alkaline Earth. The e-mails were getting a little out of hand (yes, I do take some of the responsibility).
January 17, 2004
Why we spy
While pondering the muddled, dystopic relationship the US has with many foreign countries, including China, I was listening to Frank Zappa's '200 motels lp' and on it Jimmy Carl Black starts ranting about complexes that people have, and makes the following statement, which offers insight into the behavior of humans:
(link goes to actual recording)
Spies Some statements by US secret service advisors about esionage between the United States and China. This ain't Tom Clancy; it contains candid statements from current and past foreign affairs officials.
January 16, 2004
Looking for a cat to adopt on the internet can be an emotionally crushing experience. I'm so enfeebled now that I could easily be coerced to join a cult.
Phong - Photoshop tutorials from Phong. Crap, I just crapped my pants.
Still on the menu an infant's diet of cowbrain baby food might explain some of nate's quirks...
I got a cat.
Dear Wizards In Training:
why is the sky blue?
thanks
Jeffy Scott
Salem, NC
Bring tha Funk, Bring tha Noize - Robotically, that is.
Roger's Profanisaurus - Know your beef curtains from your yarbles.
January 15, 2004
Jesus was way cool and had a harem of nubile chicks. i will stop now...
A Glossary of Perversion Know your blumpkin from your Danza slap.
January 14, 2004
I'm viewing this site with mozilla in the 3rd floor grad student computer room, and it sucks. The graphic is overwritten with text, the bars are totally out of whack. I have no link, I just wanted to apologize to anyone using netscape...
January 13, 2004
Wisconsin... I've never been so proud.
8- bit D&D
- I know. I know. I know that I am being pretty unoriginal by posting things already posted on Fark or Albino Blacksheep. But this was worth it for some reason.
This reminds me of the first (and last) time I played "Vampire: The Masquarade" (which to me sounds just as goofy as "D&D"). I don't know, but just as "D&D" was for computer nerds, "Vampire" was for the theatre people.
I remember playing with Jeremy and everybody hating us for joining forces in order to mess everybody up. I don't think I have ever been screamed at before this game.
And no, I did not wear vampire teeth.
January 12, 2004
-Hey, let's go to lunch! ... I don't care, what do you want? ... Seriously, where should we go? ... I know, let's try that new place! I heard that there's some real culinary gems over there. Like this delicate bird, I guess it tastes like fois gras ... You mean, you've never heard of l'ortolan? Wow! Maybe you should let this guy explain the concept(30MB, MPEG) before we go!
January 11, 2004
Lingerie 101: The Lingerie Guide For Men
- So now I can actually know the names of the articles of clothing the women in my dreams are wearing. Now, if I could remember the names of the famous models these days I will be doing better.
Damn it, there is drool on my pillow again.
January 09, 2004
Oolong, the Japanese pancake-balancing rabbit Now sadly passed away, this Japanese bunny was the greatest on-the-head-pastry-balancing master in all the animal kingdom. A winner in my book. Can cats do this?
The Vice Guide To Shit - I guess that since we are just adding links from Vice Magazine, here is another good one our pal Nate forgot to mention.
Viceland comes through again. I'm at the Green Muse and I was kind of hoping to find a paper copy, but there's none here. Really a shame, as the fashion Do's and Dont's are again fantastic, but the real winner this month is an explication on why threesomes blow.
Boohbah Flash animated games for children are brilliant. And scintillating. And bright. So much so that I can't figure out half of the damn games! Argh -- back to Teletubbies for me.
[If you put quotes around the Link Text, it won't show up.]
---modified by the all-powerful administrator, muhhahahahah!
Stone IPA The beer that brings you shouting matches with the Vietnamese woman who owns Tran Stop on Lamar. Thank you Stone IPA; I'm never going back there again!
January 07, 2004
Miller Lite Pillow Fight Preview - Fuck Miller Lite. I do like women having pillow fights.
Valentine's Day approacheth. I'm thinking about buying some more of these this year, but I dunno. The fossilized antacid flavor was pretty good.
Phystivus So many funny faces, so few limes to squeeze onto them. Se la vie. I think I'll just pull my pants down now. Anyone for a gluteal massage?
Isn't it ironic?
1:48 am. nachos&hudy delight. These nights at the kareoke studio leave a man listless. It's like i'm needing something more...it's a hunger, an emptiness that calls out for something. But what does a man who just Defacated some 'Ironic' by Alanys Morrissette eat? nachos? It's like ray-e-ain...from some Wiscons-e-ain
oh, fuck! I have some (cupboard slams to greet crinkling plastic and a bag clip) Cheese. check...Whoa! Sour cream, too? what's the date? Dec 24th...that's a tough call, now. should I throw it out? yeah. wait. Lemme smell it first. Heeeey! (extemporizes song about nachos with sour cream).
check out this art criticism website.
January 06, 2004
Boring3D Daily Archive - Do you like your chocolate with or with out little heads?
The Tard Blog - Classic site already mentioned needs to be recognized once more.
Your own New Year's Fireworks
As my first post, I feel that it would be best to post a link to something that was sent to me through email by a trusted confidante. This rocks.
-- Ren Hoeck