July 01, 2008
What if you surveyed people about aspects of music that they might like or dislike? What if you explicitly wrote a song to embody as many of those qualities as you could? You'd get The Most Wanted and Most Unwanted Songs ever written. The Most Unwanted Song contains themes of cowboys, holidays, and advertising. The singers are opera sopranos (rapping! no less) and kids and the instruments are heavily focused on bagpipe and accordion. There are constant tonal and tempo changes and it is way too long. In other words, Mike Patton could have written it and it sounds like something that zieglerfe would listen to on purpose. Listen to the songs on this edition of Crap From the Past (most wanted ends segment 'b' and most unwanted is most of segment 'c').
Crap From the Past is a pretty good radio show/podcast from Minneapolis which features odd, unusual, and forgotten pop music from the 60's to today. Some other recent highlights include a rock/metal version of Christopher Cross' Ride Like the Wind and Basketball by Kurtis Blow
The most un/wanted song was done with the great Komar & Melamid, who first did it with paintings. The US most wanted, based on a survey of 1001 adults, is Blue and green (not maroon or yellow); traditional, American and realist (64% / 49% / 60%); features wild animals (51%) outdoors (81%), of lakes, rivers and oceans (49%), in fall (33%); with soft curves, vibrant, blended colors and visible brush-strokes; and is dishwasher size (65%). It has a famous person (1%!) but that famous person is historical (56%), at leisure (43%), and fully clothed (68%). Most wanted:
Unwanted:
I'm 10ish minutes into the most unwanted and I like it WAY better than the most wanted. WAY WAY better. "Hey Everybody!! It's Labor Day!" I couldn't finish the most wanted song.
By the way, the most unwanted song could be improved by adding a vocoded 'This is the Reeee-mix!!!' and a Kay Slay intro.
The most wanted song probably wouldn't have batted an eyelash on an easy listening station from 1995, except it's take the absurdity so far up to the max that it has gone from horrible to hilarious again. Check this lyric out: "as she filled the catsup jars, she looked to him like a rising star <snip> simple living in our RV... could it be that you're exactly like MEEEEEE??" Followed by an awesome hammer on guitar solo, then followed by the mandatory sax solo.
If I derived joy out of it's hilariousness, does that make me one of the 72%?
And yes, I'm just not finding the most unwanted song that grating or horrible. Maybe it's because I've listened to the far more grating "Revolution 9" all the way through before. Maybe it's because the lyrics for this one are even more hilarious (the rapping about Frankenstein, and the obviously tongue in cheek ad jingles). But it's randomness and nonlinearity actually escapes it from the pitfall of most 25 minute songs--endless repetition.
Ok, they're stepping up the repetition. Still not as bad as the most wanted, at least when not factoring the opportunity cost of not listening to Elliot Smith.
Though then I'd never learn about 'cowboy living-halloween'
And then the soprano decides to turn into Wesley Willis. I'm actually beginning to think the most unwanted song is kind of awesome.
Also, a perusal of the two songs' last.fm pages indicates that we are not alone in our opinions of these two songs. Notably 'elevator music' is a tag for the most wanted song, and 'everybody should hear this at least once before they die' is the most popular tag for the unwanted song.
So, do you mean to say that you do not want me to burn you a copy of the soundtrack to "A Perfect Place"?
Crap, I just sent you a bunch of magazines and forgot to include the DVD full of *.mp3's.
That's OK, I can pass along the period blood DVD you just burned me.
See? Flip appreciates Mike Patton as much as I do.
I guess, I Appreciate The Mike Patton On A Much Deeper Level Than You.
Honestly, I enjoyed listening to the most unwanted ONCE but the rapping soprano and singing kids are really quite awful. Actually, I found myself thinking often that it sounded a lot like kids music (also mostly awful). On the other hand, I didn't especially LIKE the most wanted song but it is probably unobtrusive enough to fit easily into the BOB lineup.
Time-Lapse Summary (SPOILER!):
The Most Wanted Song (cftp-2008-06-13-b-64kb)
[27:06] Song begins
[27:49] Already banging head on table. Why soft jazz? I hate Kenny G.
[28:07] ARGH! I hope it chan
[28:23] Wasn't expecting Tom Waits singing pop. I am feeling divided because I <3 Tom Waits but this makes me not like him.
[29:28] What is with the lyrics?
[29:40] Man, Woman, Man, Woman. OMG.
[29:46] Here... it... GOES....
[29:52] Oh, the obligatory guitar solo.
[30:33] HA HA HA. I HATE THIS SO MUCH.
[31:16] Fade into WHAT?
[31:35] HA HA HA HA HA. Fantasy, fantasy, fantasy.
The Most Unwanted Song (cftp-2008-06-13-c-64kb)
[8:05] Song begins
[8:12] Good start
[8:25] Reminiscent of "Sweet Charity" by Mr. Bungle. Good, a personal favorite.
[8:55] Excited about where this is going.
[9:22] HA HA HA
[9:37] HA HA HA
[9:57] I like the mix of instruments.
[10:12] Mix reminds me of Avalanches
[10:47] Good.
[11:06] Children! Brilliant! The Fiery Furnaces
[11:29] OMG! "Parade (Instrumental)" by Susumu Hirasawa!
[11:45] Mules! Bagpipes!
[12:00] "Pranzo Oltranzista" by Mike Patton
[12:15] HA HA HA HA HA
[12:55] HA HA HA. Funny. *sheds a tear*
[13:05] More songs like this should be made.
[13:25] It is like Matthew Barney making music!
[14:27] I wish I had a organ just to hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes hit notes.
[16:34] HA HA HA. I was thinking of natedogg's comment. It sounds like "children singing" but it definitely does not sound like a "children's song".
[17:33] OMG! Everything I <3 about the Sideshow Tramps!
[19:57] Genius!
[20:07] Pizzicato!
[20:35] HA HA HA. Estradasphere! Yann Tiersen! Mr. Bungle!
[21:20] Disco Violante. Pranzo Oltranzista.
[21:54] The Fiery Furnaces!
[22:19] HA HA HA
[22:38] Estradasphere! Sideshow Tramps!
[23:15] Nice.
[23:35] Mr. Bungle!
[25:45] HA HA HA. Good. Something really good is coming, I bet. I am so excited...
[26:45] HA HA HA. How is that not perfect!
[28:16] I am really enjoying this song.
[29:35] Must. Find. Dia's. Bookstore.
When I was driving back to Austin, "Stairway to Heaven" came on the radio. And I realized that it was a very long track that featured a large ensemble of instruments (including a prominent flute!). It has frequent tempo changes and eschews love for a religious and anti-capitalist theme.
Consequently, "Stariway to Heaven" could easily have been submitted as the most Unwanted Song.
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I should stress that the Most Unwanted song is quite painful but not in the way I expected. It isn't just unpleasant screeching like Metal Machine Music. It's hard to explain how it is unpleasant but it just incorporates a bunch of little things you would never choose to listen to into one opus. If you're going to push through it, which I suggest you do, you will find yourself laughing because it's kind of tongue in cheek. My favorite part is where the little kids sing about Yom Kippur, Ramadan, and Wal-Mart.
Also, the Most Wanted song is actually pretty bad but in a completely middle of the road bland way.
posted by natedogg at 10:39PM CST on July 01