June 27, 2006
Kevin Smith's Clerks 2 "drops" on July 21st and the trailers are already online. You're probably right to be suspicious about whether he's just returning to the well for a quick cash-in especially considering that he promised to retire Jay and Silent Bob after the last movie. On the other hand, Harvey Weinstein thinks the Kansas City test screening numbers are through the roof (and KC isn't supposed to even be the "target audience"). If you feel like giving View Askew twice as much money this summer, download the director commentary track from iTunes and take your iPod with you to the theater.
I'll go.
Neil LaBute? Sweet.
I know it's fashionable to hate on remakes of classics when they've barely been conceived (even though it's often correct to do so). I hate to be one of the crowd, but there is no way they can improve this movie in 2006. There were no effects because there didn't need to be effects. It's all mind games right up to the end. Plus, it was just so British, and charmingly so. I think it doesn't work as well if you move the locale from this dour little hamlet that is instantly identifiable as the UK (also: if you put Nicholas Cage in it). Finally, come on, you think you're going to out-do Britt Eklund? Hells no, that was worth the price of admission alone.
Seriously, what is off limits now? While you're at it, why don't you just remake other crap like Incubus and Zardoz, or desecrate good stuff like The Warriors and Battle Royale?
Oh, hang on a second, call on the other line. What's that now? Hold on, you must be kidding. NO? Well at least...wait wait wait, are you fucking serious? Don't jerk me around over h...serious as a heart attack, huh? Well, alright, gotta go. Thanks.
Man, FUCK you Hollywood. The Wicker Man is not Burning Man; did anybody make sure the studio suits understood that? Note to Hollywood: when you fulfill predictions made by Onion headlines, you make an ass out of you and...you. I'd say that I was boycotting theaters while they are showing this but since the last non-event movie I saw was Wallace and Gromit that's kind of tacit anyway.
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While perusing another source for trailers, I came upon a title I found familiar. That's right, they're remaking the ExMFC great, The Wicker Man. With Nick Cage as the lead. Apparently he's into fire these days.
posted by doncarlo at 04:51PM CST on June 27