December 04, 2005

In more financial news: The heft of Wired Magazine as a concomitant NASDAQ indicator

Drop-Offs

Name: Jay Gatsby
Source: Racketeering
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: West Egg, N.Y.

Bootleg kingpin found brutally murdered at his Long Island estate; story dominates New York tabloids for weeks. Born James Gatz in North Dakota; moved East; changed name.

In life, Gatsby famous for huge, P. Diddy-esque parties; home modeled after Normandy's Hotel de Ville. Shadowy fortune appears to have come entirely from racketeering. Though one associate claimed Jay "would never so much look at a friend's wife," whispers suggest otherwise. West Egg mansion taken over by the state, being turned into a public park. Member since 1925 

"Forbes magazine gets a well-deserved tip of the hat tonight. The magazine has long been the nation's number one source of reminders that other people are much richer than you. But Forbes has upped their game by publishing a list of 15 people who are richer than you who don't even exist, the Forbes fictional 15. Bravo. Not only does your list give us new levels of non-existant wealth to aspire to, it provides hopelessly awkward nerds across America talking points when debating the liquid assets of Richie Rich vs. Bruce Wayne" ("Colbert Report," Comedy Central, 12/14) 

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